Rihanna

..is preparing to display a few occult symbols throughout her latest music video.

Stuart Heritage recently presented his guide to pop music's secret cultists:

Believe the internet and you'll understand that Jay-Z belongs to a shadowy occult order, probably the Freemasons. The clues are all there: just look at his hand signs, or the "murder Jesus" refrain you get from playing a specific remix of Lucifer backwards, or Rocawear's new line of tracksuits sized to fit giant shape-shifting reptilians. But is Jay-Z the only musician with internet-alleged links to the Illuminati? Of course not. We look at other pop stars whose masonic allegiances are beyond unreasonable doubt ...

LADY GAGA

A synonym for "Gaga" is "empty-headed", which makes Lady Gaga a prime candidate for Illuminati mind control. Plus, the video for Queen's Radio Gaga was based on Fritz Lang's Metropolis, a film about a young woman chosen by an evil elite to give life to a robot using – wait for it! – mind control. Coincidence? Gaga is EVIL.

KANYE WEST

Telling Taylor Swift that she's not as good as Beyoncé? Could Kanye West be trying to stir up enough trouble for his powerful associates to take control of the world amid the chaos? What's more, Kanye sometimes wears a T-shirt with a pagan deity on it, a clear sign that he's in league with the devil. Plus, if you were a secret society hell-bent on manipulating civilisation, wouldn't your first choice of recruit be a man whose biggest contribution to the world is an angry, over-punctuated blog? The answer is yes. Kanye West is EVIL.

RIHANNA

"Ela é" is Portuguese for "she is", so the "Ella ella eh eh eh/Under my umbrella" part of Rihanna's hit single Umbrella means that she's really singing, "She she is is is/Under my umbrella". And if you were the evil conglomerate in control of Rihanna's soul, and you wanted to boast about it in the form of a pop song about protective rain accessories, what would you say? That's right, you'd say that she was under your umbrella. In Portuguese. Rihanna is EVIL.

BEYONCE

In her recent single, Beyoncé says that she doesn't know whether being in love with a boy is a "sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare". You know what else is both a sweet dream and a beautiful nightmare? Having your mind controlled by a sinister cabal of blood-drinking lizards. She's fooling nobody. Beyoncé is EVIL.

Is Jay-Z the evil conglomerate who's in control of Rihanna's soul? Surely he's the one currently boasting that he should've designed some 'Rihanna' Roca Wear umbrellas following the singer's titled hit song.

Say it ain't so...