Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Rihanna:

Funny - The New York Magazine has issued the following "Open Letter" to Rihanna regarding the continuous wear of "spikes" on her garments; especially her shoulders:



Dear Rihanna,

That you have triumphed this year is clear. Sure, Lady Gaga exploded with all those No. 1 hits and leotards and that weird teacup. But you overcame and spoke courageously about an abusive relationship, released a new album cleverly titled Rated R, and somehow turned strips of toilet paper into a performance outfit that was actually reasonably supportive. Your love of spikes has not gone undocumented, but recently we've noticed your growing affinity for placing increasingly scary ones on your shoulders. Clearly you're an independent woman who needs neither the shoulders of others to lean on nor others leaning on your shoulders. But frankly, we're concerned, because one day a moth could fly in front of your face and you could whip your head to the side suddenly and get an earring stuck on those things. And then you could be walking around bleeding from the lobe, and okay, Gaga made that look fantastic at this year's Video Music Awards, but we'll still write you blogletters without the spikes. You enjoy pantsless looks — why not try some fur or feathered (faux if you must) garters? When it comes to fashion, safety first, please. Karl Lagerfeld will tell you that.

Xoxo,
The Cut

Hey Rihanna: stans, witches and zombies alike will step aside as you stalk your next victim (Shyne).

4 comments:

  1. Chris Brown HAS talent. He can sing and he writes his own music.

    Rihanna and Beyonce can't write their own music. In hollywood, a artist dream is to link up with another artist that can write.

    Shyne can write his own music.

    Industry insiders are linking Rihanna with Shyne so that he can sex her up and write music for her.

    If he doesn't, his career is bye bye and there's no more sex from Rihanna.

    Chris Brown move on. Doors are slamming in his face because he won't write songs for certain people.

    Rihanna still gives Jay-Z head and certain people are selected to watch the performance.

    It was one of her rituals.

    She had to lie back on a cold black table naked while several insiders took turns having sex with her.

    She's trained now to send subliminal messages.
    How can she encourage women to take nude pictures and send to their boyfriend?

    There's a Rihanna sex tape out and Chris Brown isn't in it.

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  2. NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO RIHANNA CHANT TO THE DEMONS THAT SHE WORSHIP! HER CD HAS FLOPPED!


    According to HITS Daily Double, a Web site that compiles album sales data, Rated R debuted at No. 5 on the charts after selling 180,198 units. (Conversely, Susan's Boyle's debut album, "I Dreamed a Dream", was No. 1; It sold a whopping 669,843 units!)

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  3. Rihanna is fugging for TRACKS!

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  4. Tila Tequlia is pissed off because Rihanna name checked her in a radio interview as someone she would like to put on mute, because of comments Tila made after the Rihanna-Chris Brown beating incident.



    One attention whore should not antagonize another attention whore because it will NOT end well. Tila went on her blog and says not only does Rihanna have the herp but that she's spreading it around and imples that Chris Brown has it too.

    Here's how Tila puts it on her blog

    A very close source of mine, who works in the same legal camp as Rihanna, has told me that the reason why Rihanna wasn't speaking out about the CHRIS BROWN incident is because there was a catch 22 in it. Rihanna has herpes, and....well......I don't wanna put anyone else on blast, but Rihanna has herpes and gave someone else herpes that she had slept with.

    "My sources are very legit, and they work in Rihanna's legal camp, and that is how I know! SO RIHANNA HAS HERPES, STD'S & WAS SCARED TO SPEAK OUT ABOUT IT CUZ SHE DIDN'T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT SHE HAS HERPES AND INFECTED SOMEONE ELSE WITH IT! BAD RIHANNA!


    So while you cascade around town, acting like yo shit don't stink, and leading the media and your fans into thinking that you are a strong woman, and idol, well....it's a shame you had to trick them into thinking you are, because truth is, you're ruining other people's lives, infecting people with your STD's, and walking around getting praised and loving the sympathy, when really, in real life you are just a major bitch who could give 2 shits about your fans and all the people who have been supporting you! Including myself! You dont even acknowledge your fans, you know, the people who got you famous??? Yes....those people. THE FANS! The ones that I, myself, acknowledge 247 all the time because if it weren't for my fans, I would not be here today! I love my fans, I don't lie to my fans to make them like me more, and everyone knows it. I have my flaws, but I put it out there, and I let my fans decide on whether they agree with the things I do or not. Im real, and I don't care what anyone has to say about me. All I do is mind my own business, and play with my fans.

    But since you're still cascading around town like you're a prefect little princess, angel.....honey I hate to burst your bubbles.....but yes....yo shit really do stink, and even worse.....yo shit has STD's, known as HERPES, down in your private area.

    So.....that's about it. Sorry I had to tell the world your DIRTY SECRET, but you left me no choice girlfriend. I knew about your secret for A VERY LONG TIME, but I never told anyone because that was not my business......but since you wanna play dirty with me......oh....you best believe I will give it to you good girlfriend! POW!

    Rihanna has STD's and Herpes everyone! & that is the truth from my legit source that has told me. YIKES! So boys, be careful when u wanna tap that ass, cuz that ass will give your dick Herpes if you dont put 3 condoms over it! EWWW!

    THE END!

    Sincerely,

    Ms. Tila-You-Don't-Fuck-With-Me-Tequila

    PS-yes, I understand you have a MASSIVELY powerful team behind you such as JAY-Z and all those guys so you feel safe & keep cascading around town knowing that everything wrong you do, will be covered up. I give u props for having such a great PR FIRM. U see? This sucks that I had to call you out cuz now Jay-Z, Kanye, Beyonce or whoever else is on your team is gonna hate me, and that sucks cuz I LOVEEEEE Jay-Z and Beyonce! They are my heros! But I am willing to sacrifice them hating me now because of what you did. I need to be honest and stay true to who I am, and stay real with my fans. I wish you the best in your next album release. I know I will be buying it.

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